Potty training isn't always a straightforward journey. Many families experience challenges such as a child refusing to use the potty, having accidents after making progress or feeling scared of the toilet. These potty training problems are common and are often a sign that something is making the process difficult for your child.

Understanding what's behind the behaviour can help you respond in the right way. In this guide, we'll explore some of the most common potty training problems, why they happen and simple ways you can support your child with confidence.

 

My Child Refuses to Use the Potty

It’s common for children to resist using the potty, especially in the early stages of potty training. Your child might avoid sitting down, say no when you suggest a toilet trip, or become upset when it’s time to use the potty.

 

Why this happens

Toddlers naturally want more control over what happens to their bodies, and potty training is no exception. Being asked “Do you need a wee?” throughout the day can sometimes make children feel pressured, causing them to resist or tune out.

For some children, using the potty also means stopping an activity they’re enjoying, which can feel difficult. Others may feel unsure about sitting on the potty if they don’t feel comfortable, stable or supported.

 

How you can help

• Offer your child choices wherever possible. Small decisions, such as which potty to use or where to put it, can help them feel more involved and in control.

• Follow their routine. Watch for your child's natural toileting patterns and offer the potty at times they're most likely to need it, rather than asking repeatedly.

• Keep a favourite book or toy nearby so potty time feels enjoyable rather than an interruption to play.

• Check they're comfortable. Make sure the potty feels stable and their feet are supported on the floor.

• Celebrate every attempt to sit on the potty, even if they don't do a wee or poo. Positive encouragement helps build confidence as they learn.

 

What to avoid

• Forcing your child to sit on the potty if they don't want to.

• Using bribes for every attempt, as this can sometimes shift the focus away from learning the skill itself.

• Comparing your child to others or making them feel embarrassed. Every child learns to use the potty at their own pace.

 

My Child Won't Poo in the Potty

Many children who are happy to do a wee on the potty become much more reluctant when it comes to pooing.

 

Why this happens

Fear around potty training can take many forms. Some children may be unsure about the sensation or anxious about seeing their poo in the potty rather than a nappy.

If your child has experienced constipation before, they may associate pooing with pain. This can lead them to hold in their poo, a behaviour known as stool withholding.

When children hold in their poo, it becomes larger, harder and more difficult to pass. This can create a cycle where children continue holding it in because they expect it to hurt.

Signs your child may be withholding poo include:

• Standing on tiptoes, crossing their legs or hiding behind furniture when they need to go.

• Going several days without pooing.

• Passing unusually large or hard stools when they do go.

 

How you can help

• Use nappies temporarily if needed. If your child is actively withholding poo, using a nappy for a short time can help them have comfortable, pain-free bowel movements while you rebuild their confidence.

• Encourage potty time after meals. Sitting on the potty for five to ten minutes after eating takes advantage of the body's natural urge to poo.

• Blowing bubbles, humming or reading a favourite story can help your child relax their pelvic floor muscles, making it easier to poo.

• Check that your child feels physically supported. If their feet are dangling or they feel unsteady, they may find it harder to relax their muscles when trying to poo. A toilet seat reducer and a step stool can help your child feel secure and supported.

Learning to poo in the potty can take longer than learning to do a wee. Try to focus on building your child's confidence rather than rushing the process, as pressure can often make worries worse.

 

My Child is Afraid of the Toilet

It's not unusual for children to feel worried about using the toilet, especially when they're moving from a potty to a full-sized toilet. For some children, the toilet can feel unfamiliar, noisy or even a little scary.

 

Why this happens

There are lots of reasons why a child may be scared of the toilet. They might be frightened by the sound of the flush, worry about water splashing back or feel unsteady sitting on the seat.

Unfamiliar toilets can also feel overwhelming. Loud hand dryers, bright lights and busy public toilets can all make children feel less confident.

For children who are already unsure about using the toilet, a frightening experience, such as a loud flush or a poo that was difficult to pass, can sometimes make those worries feel bigger.

 

How you can help

• If your child is scared of the flush, start by flushing the toilet while they stand nearby. As their confidence grows, encourage them to move closer and, when they're ready, let them flush the toilet themselves.

• If they're worried about water splashing back, place a layer of toilet paper over the water before they use the toilet.

• Add a few drops of food colouring to the toilet cistern and let your child guess what colour the water will be after they flush. Turning toilet trips into a game can help replace worries with curiosity.

• A toilet seat reducer and step stool can help your child feel stable and supported while using the toilet.

 

If your child continues to struggle with toilet fears, read our guide 'toilet fears in children' for more tips and advice.

 

My Child Has Started Having Accidents Again

It can be worrying if your child has been making good progress with potty training and suddenly starts having accidents again. However, potty training regressions are common and usually temporary.

 

Why this happens

Potty training regression can happen after big changes such as starting nursery or school, welcoming a new sibling or moving house. As your child adjusts, accidents often become less frequent.

If accidents continue, it's worth considering whether there's an underlying cause. Constipation is one of the most common reasons for ongoing potty training accidents.

 

Could constipation be the cause?

Constipation doesn't just affect pooing. A full bowel can press against the bladder, making it harder for your child to hold or fully empty their wee. This can lead to daytime wetting accidents, even if they were previously dry.

Signs your child may be constipated include:

• Pooing fewer than four times a week.

• Passing hard, dry or unusually large stools.

• Frequent soft or runny poo, which can sometimes be mistaken for diarrhoea.

• Withholding poo by standing on tiptoes, crossing their legs or hiding.

 

If you think constipation could be affecting your child, speak to your GP. They can assess the cause and recommend the most appropriate treatment.

 

Could something else be causing accidents?

Not all potty training accidents are caused by constipation. Some children are simply distracted by playing and don't notice the early signs that they need the toilet until it's too late.

Others may avoid using the toilet at nursery or school because they're worried about privacy, loud noises or unfamiliar surroundings. If you think this could be affecting your child, talk to them about their worries and speak to their teacher if needed.

 

Potty training problems can feel challenging, but they're often a temporary part of the learning process. Whether your child is refusing to use the potty, struggling to poo, feeling scared of the toilet or having accidents again, understanding the reason behind the behaviour can help you respond with patience and confidence.

Every child learns at their own pace, and setbacks don't mean your child is falling behind. By creating positive experiences and offering gentle support, you'll help them build the confidence and skills they need to use the potty and toilet independently.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Should I go back to nappies if my child is having accidents?

It depends on the reason behind the accidents. For some challenges, such as poo withholding, using nappies temporarily can help rebuild confidence and prevent painful bowel movements.

 

Why will my child wee on the potty but not poo?

Many children find pooing on the potty more difficult because it feels unfamiliar or they worry it might hurt, especially if they have experienced constipation.

 

How often should I encourage my child to use the potty?

Try offering regular toilet trips at natural times, such as after meals or before leaving the house, rather than asking repeatedly throughout the day.

 

When should I be concerned about potty training problems?

Speak to your GP if your child has ongoing pain, constipation, frequent wetting accidents or if you are worried that something else may be affecting their progress.